Vera Sytch's Posts
Remembering Alex
"Vera, pray... Alex had a very bad accident. They have to do surgery on his head and he has only 50% chance of surviving..."
My brother Alex was on vacation in Kansas City at a motorcycle rally in September, but the accident wasn't a motorcycle crash; a golf cart hit him while he was walking on the rally grounds. He landed on his head from the impact. He never regained consciousness...
Alex Elyjiw was one of five children, the middle child with two older sisters who bossed him around, and two younger brothers whom he bossed around. I was the oldest, so I knew Alex his entire life. It wasn't always fun having to look after younger siblings, so at the cottage where we vacationed, I once tried to lose him in the woods. As he got older, Alex became more interesting company, so I sought his companionship. We backpacked together in the Shenandoah Mountains, skied at Mt. Tremblont, or drove up to Toronto, where we were both born, to visit friends and family. Then for many years, we lived in different cities, and I didn't see Alex very often at all.
In the last seven years, however, we saw more of each other than any time since our childhoods. That's because Alex came to work for TKM (Technical Knowledge Management) at Kodak three months after that department hired me. He was multimedia graphic designer; I am a writer. Alex used to walk by my cubicle every day on the way to the coffeepot. Inevitably, he would stop by to chat. It felt special to have my brother working with me at Kodak. And when the tragic news of his death came, my coworkers were also in shock. I had lost a brother; they had lost a friend.
In that frenzy of activity before the funeral when family members divide up tasks, I volunteered to handle the photographs for a display and a slide show of Alex's life. Our family scrambled to gather photos depicting a lifetime of events: growing up in Toronto, Chicago, Pittsburgh, and Rochester; a vagabond life of skiing and odd jobs; time in the Coast Guard; and then his more settled adult years here in Rochester.
My father was an avid photographer who recorded much of our childhoods on Ektachrome slide film. I had some slides digitized at a local photo store and was stunned to see how well these slides withstood the test of time. The old prints didn't hold up quite as well. Click through the slide below and see for yourself.
My coworkers were enormously supportive and helpful during this very difficult time, making enlargements of Alex for display, creating two huge posters of pictures from his life, and delivering these to me at home. They even brought our family meals and cleaned up Alex's yard after a windstorm left behind many broken branches.
I can't communicate a lifetime of memories in one post, but I say this: Alex touched people. His exuberance was contagious, his love of people apparent.
Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.
- Bob Stewart
Comments
Posted By: toronto corporate housing (2/20/2009)
Comment: Im also saddened to know about the incident. it seriously touched my heart.the Blog you have written is very sentimental and i feel sorry for what happened. I have also been to Toronto in my childhood and its a beautiful place to live in. i hope to visit it again sometimes and i still remember those moments by seein them in my kodak photos <a href="http://www.torontosuites.com">toronto corporate housing</a> http://www.torontosuites.com
Posted By: Bill Bader (2/13/2009)
Comment: I was saddened to come across the news that Alex had passed tragically. I remember your family fondly, only became briefly acquainted with Alex, but can still vividly remember him as someone who was easily likeable and had a high spirit of enthusiasm for life. My heart goes out to you and Marta and the rest of the family. Do say hello to Marta and I wish all of you healing thoughts in this time and always.
Posted By: Felix Blanco (12/17/2008)
Comment: I am deeply sadden to read this note. I knew Alex fairly well when he worked at RIT and Kodak. As a previous Kodak employee, I used to stop by his cubicle and chat. I also used to get together at his house, and spent time with his family back then. I have known Lucas since he was born. This morning I was looking for a reference material, and for some reason the Kodak blog came up in the results. I used to write for this blog when I was employed at Kodak, so I was curious to catch up with the writers I used to know. I always enjoyed reading your blogs, so I looked for your name. Little did I know I would be reading about Alex' death. I share your loss, as I considered Alex a good friend. I enjoyed looking at the pictures, and getting a sense of his personality when he was younger. His memory will be with us for a lifetime.
Posted By: Mari Bryant (12/9/2008)
Comment: FINALLY! After numerous times accessing Vera's site, reading through her masterful messages and pictures, I am able to convey my heartfelt condolences to Vera and the rest of her family in the recent loss of her beloved brother, Alex. I am sure my father, had he been here also, would share in my sympathies, and would post a comment, or maybe several of his own accord. I do so now at long last, not only on his behalf, but also that of my sister, the only sibling I have, and my mother. Our time on earth is limited, as is the time we are given with others, particularly family and friends, which gives us all the more reason to be grateful for their presence, and to value each moment, each opportunity, as they may never come again. As dearly missed as Alex may be, I am sure Vera and her family cherish all the good times they had with Alex...the pictures are poignant testimony.
Posted By: Larry Nazarian (12/8/2008)
Comment: Vera, Thanks so much for sharing these memories of Alex. Clearly he was a great guy, and I feel as if I have gotten to know him a little, as well as your family in a deeper dimension. The tangible nature of love as expressed in this remembrance should sustain us and remind us of what is important in our lives. Larry Nazarian
Posted By: Pamela (12/6/2008)
Comment: Vera, I, too, have felt a loss of words to express to you with such an exceptional tribute to Alex's life. He and I were very close at one time...a very short time. I know that, although he may not have always spoken this, he treasured his family and adored his son. His spontaneity and enthusiasm for life, and his passion for living in the moment were aspects of the Alex I remember. May you, your family, and Sandy find strength and comfort in his memory, knowing that his presence, however short-lived, was a gift in time, as you continue on your journey through life.
Posted By: Roman (12/4/2008)
Comment: Vera, I've read your post several times now, and could not find the right words to leave as a comment. Still can't, so I'll keep it simple. Thank you so much for the wonderful words about and photos of Alex, they brought back a wealth of memories, both sad and happy.
Posted By: Nancy Heath (12/2/2008)
Comment: Vera, We've been friends a long time but I never knew Alex or your other siblings. Your tribute to your beloved brother is beautiful and the photo collections just wonderful. Having just lost my mother I know how important these pictures become. Stay strong and keep the good memories in your heart. They will help carry you through.
Posted By: Mary Spencer (11/29/2008)
Comment: You do not know me, I found this link and had to see. What a handsome family, I feel like I grew up with you. I am sorry for your loss, your grief will resurface as time continues. The important thing is to continue and live life to the fullest. The expression of your love is heartfelt. I offer my tears for your loss and I offer my thanks for sharing. I am sorry I never met Alex.
Posted By: Sunny (11/28/2008)
Comment: " Some people, sweet and attractive, and strong, and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise, teaching us about impermanence." -The Dalai Lama This quote really touched me and made me think of Alex and his beautiful life and untimely death. Alex's passing has taught me something about how I want to live my life. I only met Alex a couple of times but was touched by his exhuberant personality, good looks and funny charm. I think those qualities definitely run in the family. I'm grateful for this experience because it's helped me to slow down and appreciate my loved ones more deeply, and to not take all of the little annoyances in life so seriously. It's all so fleeting. My love and prayers are with all of Alex's family and friends, with dear Sandy, and with my dearest and sweetest friend Marta who so bravely faced the hard decisions in the last days of Alex's life. Vera, this is a beautiful tribute to your brother. I love seeing the pictures and the memories you have here. It's a healing place to go and be quiet for a while. I know you cherish Alex's memory. Thanks for sharing him with all of us.
Posted By: Vera (11/28/2008)
Comment: Chuck, I was thinking the same thing. Wouldn't it be nice if we could voice our appreciation of others BEFORE they are gone? And take time out of our busy schedules to spend time with them?
Posted By: Chuck T (11/27/2008)
Comment: Ho boy. Do those pictures ever bring back memories! Great memories of growing up with Alex (and his siblings), though they do sting a bit right now.... However, it is fun to remember doing all the things that boys like to do when they are young and the world is their playground -- shooting rockets, building and flying model rockets (and fixing them when they crashed), riding bicycles, flying kites, climbing trees, having races, playing touch football... Alex could compete with the best of us, but he never let the competition get in the way of being a great friend. (Uh, yes I DO remember that "Great Haircut." ;-) I didn't see Alex much after I graduated from high school and went off to college, but it's good to hear that he never slowed down. I've enjoyed reading other people's memories here of how Alex was a great friend to them too. Vera, thank you so much for all the work YOU have done to really cement in our collective memories how Alex contributed to all of our lives. It's too bad that we often wait until after someone is gone before we take that step back and appreciate all that person meant to us. Maybe one of the last things that Alex will do for his friends will be to get us to look around more and remember all the OTHER people who are such an integral part of our lives right now.
Posted By: Jen (11/27/2008)
Comment: hi there, you probably don't know me since I came over from a link on the Kodak website, but I just had to say that I was so touched by this amazing tribute, and your brother would really have appreciated it. my heart goes out to your family and colleagues, and I'll be keeping all of you in my prayers
Posted By: Judy S. (11/26/2008)
Comment: Dear Vera, What a beautiful tribute to Alex. Since, I, too, come from a family of five -- also, two girls and three boys, I can relate to the love a big sister feels for her young brothers throughout their lives! Though the loss of Alex is an irreplaceable loss, the beautiful times displayed in your Dad's photos, will always be with you. My condolences to you and your family. -Judy S.
Posted By: Marta (11/26/2008)
Comment: Big "Sis", I am very happy that you have compiled this wonderful slide show of Alex's life and have taken comfort in viewing it. It shows that Alex perhaps "lived" more in his 49 years here on earth than many people do in twice that length of time. I know that our family would do just about anything to get our brother back, but since we cannot, I am determined to live my life better because of his having died. I am delighted that he lives on as an organ donor (and he would be SO proud that his was the heart of someone twenty years younger). We have pulled closer as a family. We as simply changed now, with three Elyjiw "sisters" (I finally have a younger one, Sandy, like I always wanted) and two brothers, while Alex watches over us all. "Death is like a mirror in which the true meaning of life is reflected" Sogyal Rinpoche Marta
Posted By: Bob Parrett (11/25/2008)
Comment: Vera - I was so sorry to hear about Alex's tragic death, and more sorry that I wasn't at work to personally offer you my condolences and support. This is a wonderful tribute that you have created. We will all remember him fondly. I can relate to your comments about your father's slides... My father also took many, many slides during his (and my) life. They were mostly Kodachrome - and the colors in them (dating back to the mid-1940's) are just as good as the day he took them! I just recently unpacked over 100 Carousel trays of his slides (I figure that's over 10,000 slides)... One of my retirement 'projects' is to go through (and digitize?) many of them. Photographs are wonderful memories.
Posted By: Rich (11/25/2008)
Comment: I agree totally with Scott's post. I worked Thursday nights with Alex for many years down at Bristol. He was top-notch at this 'job'. I was always happy to see Alex pull up to an accident I was working because he would just jump in and do what was needed. He was great with the victims too. He had that ability to 'read' people and know what kind of tone would work with a given patient. Alex was a passionate skier. Every time we would stop at the bottom he would have a huge smile on his face. I can still picture it now. There were nights that smile made me remember the fact that I was on the hill doing the sport I love when I otherwise would have been thinking about things I had to do and counting the time till my shift was over. His passion was contagious. Perhaps the thing I will remember most is passing the time during hilltop shifts with Alex. When I was with him in our little shack the time just flew. He was always positive even when life threw him some pretty nasty curves. His attitude made me take a new look at things. He made me a better person. There will be a big hole in a couple weeks when we start our Thursday night shifts. Alex will be sorely missed, but I know he will still be there with the crew. Rich
Posted By: Karen (11/25/2008)
Comment: What a wonderful and loving tribute to a dearly loved brother! I am a cousin to Marta's husband and met Alex at their wedding. He will remain alive in spirit as people share their love and times with him. He did indeed leave footprints on hearts that he touched and will be greatly missed.
Posted By: Lisa (11/25/2008)
Comment: I never knew Alex. I'm a friend of his sister Marta (from Chicago) and I know Vera as well from our "ptashat" days at Novij Sokil. This tribute touched me because I clearly see the love in this family. I would have loved to meet Alex. I got the email yesterday but didn't open it til today. It just so happened to come on the 25th anniversary of my husband's brother's death, also an accident. His name was also Alex! It was hardest to see a mother losing her youngest son. I can only say it gets easier over time. What I am grateful for are the memories- remembering that sheepish grin. I see these wonderful photos and think how lucky you all are to have each other to lean on now. It's a good time to be thankful for that. Wishing you lots of strength and peace. (ps...Marta, that twinkle in your eye is still there- love you!)
Posted By: Catherine Nowaski (11/25/2008)
Comment: Vera, what a beautiful posting. Thank you for sharing Alex's early life through the eyes of a loving "big sister." Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and that those of us who were privileged enough to work with your brother will not forget the gift he gave us.
Posted By: Vera (11/24/2008)
Comment: Thanks Darcy and Scott for pointing out that Alex didn't just ski these days; he volunteered as a ski patrol, thus, as you point out, Scott, helping others. Alex would have been very excited about the first snow a week ago...
Posted By: Scott (11/24/2008)
Comment: As a member of the Bristol Mountain Ski Patrol, Alex gave back to the sport he loved. Although most of the people he administered aid to on the slopes probably don't know his name, I am sure they remember the enthusiastic patroller that patched them up and transported them off the slopes. On busy family nights, Alex would spend much of his time on the trails frequented by families with children, encouraging the younger skiers and lending a hand to those struggling to learn the sport. The skiing public has lost a great asset and the members of our patrol have lost a true friend. Thanks for sharing your family pictures with us.
Posted By: Elaine Lanni (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, I am so shocked and sorry to hear of this sad news. You always spoke so fondly of Alex that I felt that I knew him also. My heart goes out to you and your family and his. These photos brought tears to me eyes. Thank you so much for sharing. May his memories ease the pain.
Posted By: Darcy (11/24/2008)
Comment: I remember Alex smiling, laughing, and making others laugh. I remember him skiing and just loving it. I was on ski patrol with Alex. He brought so much joy and light to the patrol. In my mind's eye I will always see him grinning.
Posted By: Ken (11/24/2008)
Comment: I met your family when George was eight or ten, so I never got to see any of you when your were really small. It's amazing how easy it is to pick out Alex even then, although the picture of him skiing when he was fifteen is more how I remember him. Way too many freezing school bus rides down to Bristol Mountain. I remember learning the meaning of "heartburn" on the say home after eating too much chili from the cafeteria there. I also immediately recognized my folks' forsythia bushes behind Alex as he was leaving for the Keys. I can't count how many rockets and kites we lost in that tree line, not to mention how many times I climbed that fence to get to the School 46 yard more quickly. BTW, the Auto Color function in Photoshop does an amazing job of bringing back the color in old photos. It snaps the blacks and whites back to true black and white, which makes color casts and shifts largely go away. Thanks for the photos--they bring back good memories.
Posted By: Deanna (11/24/2008)
Comment: A wonderful tribute, Vera! How priceless it is that your father took so many pictures to help fix your childhood in your mind's eye. Alex will live on in them as well as in your hearts and memories. Blessings and hugs.
Posted By: Susan Peck (11/24/2008)
Comment: My heart goes out to you and your family Vera. I loved the pictures. Thanks for including me on the distribution list. It looks like your father set the stage for budding photographers in the family. What a fitting and loving tribute to your brother and the whole family and friends he had. I know the holidays are going to be especially hard for everyone. God Bless you and know he's still around you in spirit. Fondly, Sue
Posted By: Lloyd (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, thank you for sending me a message about your blog. I was very suprised when I heard the news about your brother. I know Alex when we were in Middle and High school together. I remember coming over to your house on numerous occasions to play. Though we grew apart in High School, I still considered Alex a friend. I was happy to be able to connect with him again at our 30th reunion this past summer. I feel like I should have spent more time with him to catch back up after all of these years. Oh well, it was not meant to be. I loved the photo's. Thank you again for including me in your rememberance.
Posted By: Vera (11/24/2008)
Comment: Thanks, Jenny, for the compliment on the family photos. Kudos to my dad for being such a great family photographer! That's why he's in only one shot - a self-timer Christmas picture. Thanks, Dad!!
Posted By: janice smith (11/24/2008)
Comment: gorgeous. glad family had so many photos to complement the memories..! thanks for sharing*(actually marta sent them along)
Posted By: Jenny Cisney (11/24/2008)
Comment: I am blown away by how great the pictures of you and your siblings as children are. You have some wonderful photos of your brother to remember him by.
Posted By: Ver (11/24/2008)
Comment: Thanks, Steve. Losing a brother AND coworker is very painful. His death left a big hole in many lives.
Posted By: Steve (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera... I know we've never met in person but knowing you via the blog I want to send my heartfelt condolences. I can't imagine losing a sibling, especially someone so close that you work with. The photos are a wonderful tribute you'll always be able to remember him by.
Posted By: Jerry (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, thanks for the very moving tribute to Alex. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
Posted By: Andy S (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, It still stings. I miss your brother a lot. Alex made an impression on everyone who knew him. His passion for life is something that will always inspire me.
Posted By: Yuri Hrynyszyn (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, that was a touching tribute. I enjoyed the neautiful photos. I remember Alex fondly as my favorite "novak" when he was in my hurtok. He was the best and the brightest of them all. The picture in my mind's eye was hom at the age of ten or eleven. It was fabulous seeing him in more recent photos. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted By: Linda (11/24/2008)
Comment: I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose someone so young. You have a truly touching tribute to Alex's life through your photos. I did not know him, but it is very moving. Thank you for sharing.
Posted By: Tom Messerklinger (11/24/2008)
Comment: Vera, what a heartwarming tribute to Alex. By the looks of it, Alex enjoyed a full life by anyone's standards. Seeing how aggressively he latched onto life and family made me reflect on my own blessings. It's great that you have so many wonderful pictures of him that you were able to share with us. Thank you. Very nice work, as always. Great job to Brandon as well. Sincerely, Tom